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Hurt Feelings



I hurt my friend’s feelings today. I was trying to support her decision to look into her son’s delays by telling her of another route to do it. Early Intervention is free and thorough. I told her that I’ve seen her son display some early signs of autism. She said that really hurt her feelings. At first I felt like, really? That hurt your feelings? I have endured countless ignorant comments about my son over the years from my friends. I have held all of my angst in because I was alone in my struggle. I chose to not make anything that was said a big deal because they just simply didn’t understand what I was experiencing. She said I could have said something nicer like just tell her about Early Intervention. I told her about the signs because I care about him getting help for her sake and his. I have been asked by many parents what they should do about this or that. People assume I’m an expert on messed up kids or something. I will say 9 out of 10 times people don’t choose the free evaluation after I suggest it. I just wanted to compel her to take that step. I told her I wish someone would have told me that autism was on the table so I didn’t feel so blindsided when he was diagnosed. The big mistake I made was assume that she feels the same as me. I'm the type that wants to know the worst case scenario in all situations. I like to plan the worst, hope for the best. She likes to keep hope alive as long as possible I guess. I was insensitive and cruel when I want to be the exact opposite. I felt like as her friend I should tell her the hard thing that everyone insists on dancing around. Maybe I should just dance around it too. I thought I was supposed to be good at this kind of stuff.

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